


What Luther Is

by SlarStarsFanFics



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Dysphoria, Character Study, Gen, Good Parent Grace Hargreeves, Implied Incest, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kinda, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, No spoilers for Season 2, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sad Luther Hargreeves, Suicidal Thoughts, They/Them Pronouns for Klaus Hargreeves, Very Luther Friendly, Which I Don’t Condone, no beta we die like ben, the Hargreeves are trying, which are canon btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25856068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlarStarsFanFics/pseuds/SlarStarsFanFics
Summary: Ruminations on what Luther Hargreeves is to his family, and to himself.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & The Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	What Luther Is

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just AAAAANNNNGGGGSSSTTTT
> 
> Also, I’m planning on writing Season 2 compliant fics, because us Luther stans were fed well, but I’m gonna wait until more people have watched it

To Reginald Hargreeves, 001 is a means to an end. Never a child, never a _son._ 001 listens to orders, Reginald designed it that way. He carefully moulded the boy into a perfect toy soldier, a pawn in a chessboard. He pulls him away from his siblings, pretending to raise him higher, but in reality, pushing him down. So when 001 is injured, Reginald still saves him. 001 is still needed in the grand plan, his purpose is not yet fulfilled. 

* * *

To Grace, Luther is a son. To her, he is not 001, or Spaceboy, he is Luther. He is _her boy._ Her **_son._ **He is the boy who she sang to sleep. He is the boy who tried his hardest not to need her, but who fell into her arms anyways. He is the boy that stayed with her in his sibling's stead. He is the boy who taught her to dance. She is his mother, and as his mother, she would do anything to save him. That is why she doesn’t stop Mr. Hargreeves from administering the serum. She knew that her metal heart couldn’t take losing another of her children. She knew it was selfish, she knew he would at the very least live uncomfortably, but she needed him. So she would be there to help him, to hold him, in the serum’s wake. 

* * *

To Vanya, Luther was a paragon. As children, he protected her. She was the youngest, the weakest, the most vulnerable. Those defences felt like the only time he paid her mind. He was an ideal to strive to, according to their father. He always seemed tall and strong, and she felt small and weak. As they grew, she started to view him as a sort-of henchman to their father. Someone who defended him at every corner, who couldn’t _possibly_ understand her struggles. So when she wrote her book, she said as much. _Arrogant and self-centred, Luther cares more about being a hero than anything else. It’s certainly more important to him than family..._

* * *

To Ben, Luther was a good big brother. Ben was the baby brother and the assigned youngest on the field. Luther orbited around him on missions, watching over him, keeping him safe. That one time Ben came down with a cold, Luther pretended that he was sick too so he could stay with him and comfort him. Luther would read Ben his poetry and ask for his opinions. Luther _listened_ to him. He made Ben feel important. So Ben was grateful. Grateful for the support, grateful for the memories. Grateful that he died in his big brother’s arms instead of alone on the cold tile floor. Klaus was in rehab when Spaceboy’s final mission happened. Ben felt that it was safe enough to go visit. He expected to see Luther moping, maybe he would have a one-sided conversation, but that’s not what he got. Instead, he saw his big brother’s chest covered in a mix of chemical burns and blood. Instead, he saw his brother flatline. Instead, he saw their father stab him in the chest with some kind of serum. So when Luther woke up, he would be there. Even if Luther couldn’t see him, Ben didn’t want his brother to be alone.   
  


* * *

To Five, Luther was gone. He was something to be remembered fondly, something to be missed. And how Five missed him. He missed him so much it _ached._ As Five grew, he noticed the vague similarities between his changing face and the unchanging, dead face of his brother. He pushed it to the back of his mind. It wasn’t important. (Five caught his reflection in a broken mirror when he was 29. He stomped and screamed until the shards were scattered everywhere.) So at the first chance he had, he broke his contract to get to his brother. To his family.

* * *

To Klaus, Luther was trying his best. He always had, ever since they were young. Luther tried and tried and tried. And in the midst of all that trying, Klaus felt pushed to the side. But despite that feeling, no matter what, Luther proved over and over again that he would protect them. Especially after what happened to Ben. The last time Klaus saw him before his accident didn’t go well. _An advance on our inheritance,_ Luther knew exactly what that meant. Klaus barely acknowledged the magazine cover he saw about their brother going to the moon. Good for him, he needed to leave that house one way or another. They weren’t prepared for what they saw at the funeral. _Really filled out_ their ass, but Luther could take care of himself. Then he couldn’t, and he was drunk and out on the town and Ben was upset… _if you were in trouble? There is_ **_nothing_ ** _in this world he wouldn’t do to save your scrawny little junkie ass._ And deep down, sometime in the past, that was true. So when they saw some dick try and attack their brother, they didn’t hesitate to fuck him up. _He would do the same for me._

* * *

To Allison, Luther was a comfort. Their relationship was strange, she’ll admit it. He was a connection, something to hold on to in the chaos of their home. He knew exactly who she was and what she could do and he loved her anyway. When Allison left, he walked her to the bus to say goodbye. She thought about inviting him to her wedding, but she knew their father wouldn’t let him come. She had Claire right before he went to the moon. When she called, Mom picked up the phone. She said he wasn’t available, but she was ecstatic about her new grandchild. Allison went years without talking to Luther, and it felt like she was missing something. So when Claire was old enough, she told her stories about her uncle and the moon. It was the least she could do. 

* * *

To Diego, Luther was a rival. Someone to overcome so he could move forward. Like the villains in games, the two of them played the time they snuck out to the arcade. They brought they’re saved up change and played until closing. Diego would never tell, but it was one of his fondest memories. For a while, Luther wasn’t a rival, he was his brother. Looking back, he knew exactly what happened. Reginald was a dick, but he was a smart dick. He knew what would happen if Luther and Diego got along. So instead they were 001 and 002. One day, Patch tossed him a magazine. _The Umbrella Academy’s SpaceBoy is going to the moon!_ Diego wasn’t sure what to make of that. He also wasn’t sure why the magazine used such an old photo, but that’s neither here nor there. But then Dad died, and there was the funeral. He watched his brother spiral deeper and deeper. So after that talk in the library, he decided. No more. No more petty-ass fighting, no more prodding. Diego loved his brother, and their father can’t take that away from him anymore. 

* * *

Luther would describe himself in many different ways. He is a good son, he’s a brother, a leader, a hero. These things changed as he got older. All of a sudden, he wasn’t good enough for his father, his siblings had left, he had no team to lead, and he didn’t feel like much of a hero anymore. He was _lonely._ Then he was ugly and deformed and disgusting and _why me? What did I do? Dad TELL ME!_ He wandered the halls like the ghost he would much rather be until he got the news. He could imagine the headline, _Spaceboy finally lives up to his name._ The MOON? The fucking moon. What did he do to deserve that? To be sent away to fucking **_space_ ** ! No, there must be a reason. There **_must_ ** be. So he spent those four years, with notebooks, novels, and stars as his only company. (well, other than his plant) Food ran low after a while. Luther tried not to look too far into that. Skin and blood covered the ground sometimes. Sometimes he felt like ending it. But no. Dad needed him. How could he be useful if he was dead? Then his father died. Then his family saw his body. Then his own brother called him a monster _._ Then he found out it was all for **_nothing_ ** _._ Not just the moon, his entire life was pointless. So when he had the chance to forget it all, he took it. 


End file.
